What’s the title of your story?

Hello, Earthlings! You’re watching Adam the Alien, and today I’d like to ask you a question. Now, this is a question I love to ask people when I’m just getting to know them and I thought maybe I should, uh, put it out there on the Internet.

If you had an autobiography or your memoirs or the story of your life in some form in front of you right now —it was done, completed, all you had to do was give it a title— what would the title be?

Now, for me that title is “Barely Keeping My Hats On.” I chose that title for multiple reasons. One reason was that back in 2009, I was in a car with a bunch of friends wearing three hats. Don’t ask why; I can’t even entirely remember. Someone opened the window and I felt like I was going to lose them, so I said, “Shut the window, I’m barely keeping my hats on!”

And that’s when my friend Molly made me promise to one day call my autobiography “Barely Keeping My Hats On.”

Here’s the thing, though: it’s not just because of that. It actually really works for my life, because that’s how I have constantly felt throughout life: that I’m kind of just barreling through, sliding down the hill, holding onto the many metaphorical and literal hats that I have worn, just barely keeping them on. That describes my life so well.

There’s an addendum to this question, too, that I’d also like you to think about. And that is: what is the current chapter of your life titled? In this autobiography/memoir/story-of-your-life thing.

For me, the current chapter is “Paddling With My Hands,” because I’m making progress, and I definitely feel like I am going somewhere, and not stalling so much anymore. But it’s just moving so slowly, it’s like I’m in a boat without any paddles.

That being said, I like to think I’m transitioning into a new chapter, which brings on the third question in this kind of line of getting-to-know-you stuff. And that is: what would you like the NEXT chapter of your life to be titled?

And that is probably an even more difficult question to answer. The previous two, they’re already pretty difficult to answer, and a lot of people struggle with them when I ask. But this third one…I’M not even sure.

But given where things are at now, and where I would like to be going, and the directions I’m currently trying to push myself in, I like to think that maybe…maybe the next chapter should be titled, “Finding The Paddle.”

And maybe that’s the chapter I’m actually in, now. I’m at least entering it.

The great thing about these questions, too, is I get such a variety of answers from everyone I ask! Some people give very literal answers that they’ve already thought about and–and they have, like, already ready-to-go “I know what that’s gonna be!” Some people think about it. And some people give these really weird answers that are kind of out there, but artsy in a way that would be cool to find on a book.

So what is your answer to that question? I really wanna know. So down in comments, or in some way —via Twitter, whatever— interact with me, and let me know:

What is the title of the story of your life?

What is the current chapter title?

And what do you want the NEXT chapter to be titled?

These are fantastic questions to get to know people with, and I just hope to see some really interesting answers.

Until next time, I’m Adam the Alien. Fare thee well.