Makeover

In which my friend Lisa gives me a makeover.

• MUSIC: “aunt group text” by feach puzz

[spoiler title=”Click here to read the video transcript.”]

ADAM:All right, let’s make a proper vlog of this.

[LAUGHS]

LISA: Hiiiii!

ADAM: Lisa’s about to do my makeup with very, uh, scarce materials.

[ADAM LAUGHS]

LISA: Okay, you’re gonna have to take off your hat and your glasses.

ADAM: Okay.

LISA: Okay.

ADAM: Okay.

LISA: Let’s see…

[BOTH LAUGH]

ADAM: Hang on…

LISA: I have to…I have to study your face.

ADAM: Study my face!

LISA (whispering): Study your face!

ADAM: No…play…don’t do that…oh! It’s going. This is Lisa, studying my face!

[ADAM LAUGHS]

LISA: It’s kind of intimidating!

ADAM: It was just the act of you…you were just like, “Hmmm.”

LISA: “Hmm.” My canvas!

LISA: All right.

♪

[LISA BURPS]

[ADAM LAUGHS]

♪

[LISA LAUGHS]

LISA: Sorry!

ADAM: I really wish I had a camera pointed at you, too, right now!

[LISA LAUGHS]

♪

[ADAM LAUGHS]

♪

ADAM: Such a pro, testing on your skin.

LISA: And our skin tones are vastly different.

[BOTH LAUGH]

LISA: So I don’t even know what I’m trying to do here…

ADAM: I don’t know what just happened, but it automatically turned off! So here we go, from this point.

[LISA LAUGHS]

ADAM: Yeah, you laugh!

LISA (in exaggerated, mocking tone): Ha, ha, ha!

ADAM (in a snooty voice): That was such a haughty “HA ha ha!”

LISA (snootier): A-HA ha!

ADAM (even snootier): A-HA ha haa!

LISA (snootier still): Ah-HAW ha!

ADAM (snootier and higher pitched): BuHAHAha!

LISA: Fetch me my caviar, butler!

ADAM: You gotta say stuff like that while the camera’s pointed at you.

LISA: Mm-mn.

[BOTH LAUGH]

♪

ADAM: Okay, the camera keeps turning off! So, uh…**** you, camera. Probably gonna…I’m gonna have to censor this, because YouTube doesn’t like profanity.

LISA: Boooooooo!

♪

LISA: It’s subtle, but I like it.

LISA (humming): Dink dink dink dink dink dink dink!

[ADAM LAUGHS]

ADAM: Did you just dink dink while rubbing makeup off my nose?

LISA: Boop!

♪

[FRIEND CATCALLING FROM OFF CAMERA]

[BOTH LAUGH]

♪

[ADAM LAUGHS]

ADAM (laughing): Sorry! You can’t make me laugh!

[ADAM LAUGHS]

LISA: That lip color is SO good on you, by the way.

ADAM: Oooh!

♪

LISA: Lip gloss is more of a sheen, while lipstick is more of a…

ADAM: You…
LISA: Did I just…?

[BOTH, LAUGHING]

ADAM: Yeeaaah…

ADAM: Do you see it? Right there?

LISA (laughing): Yeah!

[ADAM LAUGHING]

LISA: Yeah, I can’t help but get dirty…

ADAM: There’s a quote!

[BOTH LAUGH]

LISA (laughing): Don’t you dare! Okay…

ADAM: It shut itself off again!

LISA: Wait, can I…? Can I try something? Wow. You’re so beautiful!

ADAM: Apparently, now we’re going to try something with my hair.

♪

LISA: You look very stoic in the camera.

[BOTH LAUGH]

♪

LISA: Like, it’s actually–oh, shart!

[ADAM LAUGHS]

♪

[ADAM LAUGHS]

LISA: This is pretty much what I would do with MY hair, so…

LISA: Yeah!

ADAM: So makeup and hair is done!

♪

ADAM: Yeah! So…[LAUGHS]

ADAM: That’s me with makeup!

ADAM: Now with glasses!

ADAM: How do you feel about your masterpiece?

LISA: I feel great. [LAUGHS] I feel terrible.

ADAM: You feel terrible?

LISA: I want you to take it all off right now.

[ADAM LAUGHS]

ADAM: And how do you feel about the masterpiece on your own face, now?

LISA: I feel great. I’m keeping it. I’m getting this, actually, as a tattoo. This was like a prototype tattoo idea.

ADAM: Lisa’s in a band! Tell us about your band!

LISA: AHHH! Nononono!

ADAM: The band’s link is in the doobly-doo! It’s awesome. Go listen to it! She’s gonna run away from me now.

GABBY: It’s called feach puzz!

[ADAM AND LISA LAUGH]

GABBY: Find them on Bandcamp!

LISA; I can’t…

GABBY: She plays the bass!

[LISA LAUGHS]

ADAM: All right. Gabby! Do the pitch!

GABBY: So Lisa’s band is called peach…no. Pe…fu…feach puzz? [LAUGHS] It’s really hard to say backwards. Feach puzz. You can find them on Bandcamp, and Lisa is the bass guitarist. So you should really check it out. Lisa’s an awesome person, and I’m sure her music is just as awesome as she is.

ADAM: Until next time, I’m Adam the Alien. Fare thee well.

[ADAM MAKES A KISSY NOISE]

[ADAM LAUGHS]

♪

[/spoiler]