Skirting Portland

INSTAGRAM:

The Instagram picture that served as a sort of coming out:

Today’s #OOTD isn’t just #fashion. This is a side of myself I’ve been coming to terms with, a side that I still feel an instinctive push to hide from the world, out of fear. Last night, spending a power outage hanging out with the farm’s work traders, I wound up borrowing a skirt. It felt good, not only because the skirt, which I chose to wear again today, is particularly fun and swishy…but because it felt like I wasn’t hiding anymore. I’ve been fairly open about being #genderqueer, with the sublabel #genderfluid being the closest to accurate, but I haven’t had the courage to be nearly so obvious about it. I don’t talk that much about it, and there are certain types of expression I’ve been slow to allow for myself. But I feel damn pretty in this skirt, and I’m hoping I’ll have the courage to continue this, to express who I am without the gnawing fear that was bullied into my consciousness when I was young and figuring out who I would become. #courage #progress #becomingmyself #AdamTheAlien

A photo posted by Adam J. Manley (@adamthealien) on Nov 18, 2015 at 6:39pm PST

My outfit from this video:

Yesterday’s #OOTD: red brimmed hat, floral blazer, red paisley scarf, nerdy T-shirt, patterned skirt, men’s socks, and sneakers. It was my first time wearing a skirt TRULY in public, wandering around Portland for the day after ecstatic dance. Prior to yesterday, I’d only worn skirts or dresses at home or in the homes of friends I knew would be accepting. Fittingly, the theme for the morning’s ecstatic dance was “freedom”. I felt very free yesterday. #Portland #PDX #Oregon #genderfluid #genderqueer #fashion #latergram #AdamTheAlien (Photos courtesy my friend Ann) (And many thanks to @treestar321 for the hat and skirt in this photo!)

A photo posted by Adam J. Manley (@adamthealien) on Feb 8, 2016 at 1:00pm PST

MUSIC:

• History by Dr. Noise. You can find the track on his latest album, Shadows.
• My theme song is Pluto Vs. Neptune by Driftless Pony Club. You can buy their albums from DFTBA Records.

VIDEO TRANSCRIPT:

[spoiler title=”Click to see transcript”]
Hello Earthlings, you’re watching Adam the Alien. I am recording this on February 7th, 2016, and I have had quite a day out and about in Portland.

The day started with some work trader friends and I getting off the farm and getting into Portland for some ecstatic dance at Sacred Circle Ecstatic Dance.

If you don’t know what ecstatic dance is, that is…ah…I don’t really know how to describe it. I mean, it’s dancing, but it’s almost a spiritual thing, where they kind of start you out with a slow, almost yoga-ish kind of feel, and then you build up and you build up and you build up until you’re just BLRGHZGHRL! And then it slows you back down again.

And I have no way to describe it other than I’ve heard a number of people refer to it as dance church. And that’s probably the most accurate description.

The theme of today’s ecstatic dance was “Freedom”, which was especially fitting.

A little while ago, I posted a picture to Instagram that effectively worked as my coming out as genderfluid, something I haven’t been particularly open about as of yet. But I…I’m becoming more open with it.

Today, I decided to –for the very first time– wear a skirt out in public. I’ve worn them at home, and I’ve worn them around other people, and I’ve worn them at other people’s houses, but I have never worn them out, really, among strangers. And definitely not then walking around the streets of downtown, as we decided to do after ecstatic dance.

It’s a sad fact that it has taken me until my 30s to really start accepting my own sexuality and gender identity, but as I am finally becoming more and more open about these things, it is an amazingly wonderful and…and freeing feeling.

Though I will say that I have discovered why stairs with grates are so terrible. I mean, I already knew that, but grated stairs! Walking up grated stairs. It’s just, uh…not good. Why does anyone build stairs that you can see through when so many people wear skirts? I don’t know. I don’t…I don’t know.

So I wandered around with my friends, for the very first time feeling very, very free…in more ways than one.

I actually got a lot of compliments on my outfit in general, and I actually ran into someone I knew, who I haven’t seen in a couple of years.

That was honestly kind of one of the things I was afraid of, was running into someone I knew. But it was wonderful, and we just caught up, and everything went as if it would if I wasn’t wearing a skirt.

So: achievement unlocked, gender norms fucked, and expression…expressed.

[MUSIC plays: “History” by Dr. Noise]

♫ Are you ready to ride the rails? ♫
♫ Do you want to see something beautiful? ♫

♫ Have you ever seen the angels ♫
♫ walking up and down the boulevard? ♫

♫ Do you ever take your life for granted, ♫
♫ or let time slip on by? ♫

♫ It’s time to light the fire ♫
♫ It’s time to step into the light ♫

♫ Sometimes it’s hard to fit in ♫
♫ and the world can make it worse ♫

♫ Remember no one’s perfect ♫
♫ Except for Johnny Depp, of course ♫

♫ Look for someone who can make you smile ♫
♫ and never let you down ♫

♫ Hold onto them for a while ♫
♫ For a while ♫

♫ Whooooaaaaaahhh ♫

♫ Let it be written ♫

♫ Whooooaaaaaahhh ♫

♫ And let it be told ♫

♫ Grab your drink and write your story ♫
♫ It’s time to make history ♫

♫ Whooooaaaaaahhh ♫

♫ Let’s make history! ♫

♫ Whooooaaaaaahhh ♫

Until next time, I’m Adam the Alien. Fare thee well!

[/spoiler]

Adam J. Manley

Website

Writer. Actor. Director. Chalk artist. YouTuber. Nerdfighter. Traveler. Pansexual. Genderfluid. Millennial. Socialist. Living a complex life beyond those words.