VIDEO TRANSCRIPT (EDITED VIDEO)
ADAM: All right. What is today’s date?
ADAM: One of these days, I’m gonna know the date when I start a video.
ADAM: Hello, Earthlings. It’s August 22nd, 2014, and you are watching Adam the Alien.
[THEME SONG PLAYS]
ADAM: I’m here with my friend Katie…
ADAM: …from the Portland Nerdfighters, and if our eyes look at all puffy, it’s because we just went and saw The Fault In Our Stars.
KATIE: [INCOHERENT NOISE OF FEELS]
ADAM: What she said.
ADAM: We went to Portland’s Living Room Theaters to see it. We are probably the last Nerdfighters to actually go see it, because we are terrible and just…you know, not…not…not doing our duties as…as…
KATIE: We’re not on top of it.
ADAM: …as cult members.
KATIE: We have a life! We both have lives. I originally was going to go see it on The Night Before Our Stars, but then college happened.
ADAM: But we finally had to see it because I can’t go see Guardians of the Galaxy, I can’t justify that until I see this so…you know. It was terrible going to Vidcon and being like, “Yeah, I haven’t seen that yet. Hmmm…maybe I should’ve.”
Anyway! Personally, I loved it. I know there were changes from the book. She was writing them down.
KATIE: I have a list.
ADAM: Writing them down while we were watching the movie. How were you watching the movie while you were writing them down?
KATIE: It’s a magical thing called multitasking?
ADAM: Mmm, yes, I don’t have one of those. I have a penis, instead!
Here’s my quick thoughts on the movie: I was very overjoyed to see various bits from the book that I could remember. There were apparently bits that were missing that I did kind of hazily…not…see those, but it’s been a few years since I read the book, and honestly I thought that it encapsulated the mood very well. It was very interesting seeing Sam Merlotte from True Blood and the Green Goblin, aka Detective What’s-His-Face from Boondock Saints, aka I just love Willem Dafoe.
I think this was actually his least crazy role, and actually he did an amazing job, ’cause one of the things I will say: Willem Dafoe played Van Houten. VAN HOOOTEN! VAHOOOTEN! Yeah, I actually know a guy who talks and acts just like that character.
KATIE: Oh, so he’s a massive asshat?
ADAM: Nnn, he’s a good guy under it.
ADAM: It’s just, but he likes to use these flowery words and he’s very pessimistic about everything. So I was picturing that in my head the whole time I was reading the book. And Willem Dafoe captured that perfectly. Like, at first, I was like, “I like Willem Dafoe, but he…can he…is he gonna do this the way I imagined it? I know he’s gonna do a good job, but is he gonna do it the way I imagined it?” YES. Yes, he did. That is pretty much exactly the way that I imagined it.
ADAM: Same? Yeah.
KATIE: Yeah. I was just like, “Wow, he is such a dick.”
ADAM: Augustus, on the other hand, was better than I imagined, and really pretty.
KATIE: Yeeeaaah. Yeah, Anzel…An…Ans?
ADAM: Ansel Elgort.
KATIE: An-sel El-gort. That is a mouthful. He’s a very pretty person.
ADAM: He’s a very pretty person. This movie had me crying pretty much start to finish. It’s not hard to make me cry at movies. I am a crier, I use movies as my catharsis. This was just ridiculously good at doing it…even though I had already read the book and knew everything that was going to happen. Even though I already knew the background and the foreground and the…GROUND. It still…
KATIE: You knew the ground.
ADAM: …made me cry right right the start. Right from the flashback to the ICU when the parents thought that she was going to die. That’s not a spoiler! It’s background, so…screw you. Show us the list.
KATIE: The first thing I noticed was when Hazel was in support group. In the book, she and Isaac communicate with these little sighs. And so that was left out.
ADAM: They did kind of show it, I mean…
KATIE: A little bit.
ADAM: You just had, you just…they didn’t explicitly spell it out for you, but they showed the kind of looks between them.
KATIE: I wasn’t really, like, as focused, ’cause I was just like, “Oh my god, this is happening, oh my god this is happening.”
ADAM: So you just criticized a movie for something that actually did happen!
KATIE: You hush your face. Also, at dinner, they weren’t sitting outside and it wasn’t…they didn’t have the stuff falling from the trees. It’s Amsterdam snow, I think they called it. Which was probably just, like, a logistics thing ’cause they were in Amsterdam at a different time at a different time than it was actually happening.
ADAM: And the restaurant was super pretty.
KATIE: Yeah! I have no complaints about the restaurant. The restaurant was great!
One of the things that bothered me most: “My thoughts are stars I can’t fathom into constellations.” That is one of my favorite quotes, and it wasn’t in the freaking movie!
ADAM: So basically, like any book-to-movie adaptation, there were things that were not in the movie that were in the book. That will make some people upset. I’m not too terribly concerned. It held true to the spirit. The cinematography was gorgeous.
KATIE: It was so pretty!
ADAM: Oh, it was gorgeous! And I loved how they did the texting, that was very nice.
KATIE: That was really cute. I liked it.
ADAM: They did, you know, a very cute graphical thing. The acting was…
KATIE: Oh my god, it was superb.
ADAM: …holy shitballs good.
KATIE: It was so good!
KATIE: I was just, like, Shailene Woodley, Jesus Christ!
ADAM: Not just her! Everyone, across the board. Big parts, little parts. Every single person.
KATIE: The frickin’ waiter in the restaurant was…I was just like, “You are such a pleasant person! Can I just give you a hug? Like, I just, I j–just let me love you!”
ADAM: All in all, good movie?
KATIE: It–yep! Good movie.
ADAM: I’m gonna give it a thumbs up. Thumbs up. Two thumbs up!
If you haven’t seen The Fault In Our Stars, and it’s still playing in your area, you should go see it. If not, get it when it comes out on DVD slash BluRay slash whatever.
The Living Room Theater keeps it going for a while!
KATIE: Yeah, I was really…I was impressed and excited because I hadn’t seen it yet and I was like, “If I don’t see this in theaters, they’re probably going to revoke my Nerdfighter card.”
ADAM: It was really frickin’ weird leaving that movie in tears and walking out to people who were walking in to watch, you know, the new Sin City movie. And they were all like, “Yeah, I’m gonna see some blood and gore! Why are these people crying, I don’t understand. Gonna see some blood and gore! And misogyny!”
ADAM: I’m still probably gonna see it, though.
ADAM: I’m gonna watch it.
KATIE: Yeah, I dunno. I haven’t…
[KIDS BEING NOISY]
ADAM: This exit is taking way too long.
KATIE: I’m sorry. I…I…sometimes, I…
ADAM: We have recorded for 16 minutes. That is longer than I intended to record this for.
KATIE: That happens a lot.
ADAM: This was gonna be a one-take five minute video.
KATIE: Good luck with that! I talk a lot.
ADAM: Until next time, I’m Adam the Alien.
KATIE: I’m Katie!
ADAM: There’ll be a link to her channel SOMEday, when she actually does something with it.
ADAM: Someday. Someday.
KATIE: One day! That day is not today.
ADAM: Until then, again I’m Adam the Alien, and I hope everyone goes and watches The Fault In Our Stars but READ THE BOOK FIRST! ‘Cause it’s good. Fare thee well!
Am I supposed to do the thing, too?
There. I did it. You happy?
ADAM: Hello, Earthlings. It’s August 22nd, 2013…not. It’s not 2013.
KATIE: Hank did that in one of his videos, and I was just like, “Ohhhh, Hank.”
KATIE: Don’t give me that look!
ADAM: Copyright music, stay out of my video!
ADAM: [TONGUE NOISE]
ADAM: I just got splashed in the butt.
KATIE: Me, too.
KATIE: Oh, look at the puppy!
ADAM: Back on task, back on task.
ADAM: August 22nd, 2014, and if–
KATIE: Not 2013!
ADAM: You can’t reference the blooper reel!
WOMAN IN BACKGROUND: YOU DIDN’T EVEN SEE ME!
KATIE: I see you. I saw you.