Today’s episode of VEDA brought to you by unending technical difficulties! Yay! Be sure to watch the other daily videos I’m doing this month. There’s even a handy YouTube playlist if you want to just binge through with neither muss nor fuss.
The Vlogger’s Lament
by Adam J. Manley
Once in a time, a vlogger named Adam
Was filled with ideas. So many, he had ‘em!
His biggest frustration, the source of his strife?
There were simply too many to bring all to life
So by default this vlogger’s already on edge
Their sanity dangling out on a ledge
Then one rainy night when the wind was a terror
Their editing program just kept screaming “error!”
He tried to stay calm, but his teeth he did grit
For it wasn’t the first night he’d dealt with this shit
But these glitches he would not let play him the fool
And he knew there was no use in losing one’s cool
And so she persisted, in spite of it all
Even as the clock’s hours continued to fall
But her patience was strained, and her sleep had been fitful
So soon she was shouting, “YOU SHITFUCKING SCHNITZEL!”
With a loud string of shouted profanity endless
The vlogger declared their computer was friendless
But of course none of that kept the errors at bay
And the time came to save the fight for the next day
Don’t think that this vlogger will soon be defeated
Those other new videos will be completed
But for now, to allow the loud rage to dispell
I wrote this instead, and shall now say farewell.
- MUSIC: “Faster Does It” by Kevin MacLeod
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
[spoiler title=”Video Transcript”]
VIDEO TRANSCRIPT
[JAZZY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[CLEARS THROAT]
Once in a time, a vlogger named Adam
Was filled with ideas. So many, he had ‘em!
His biggest frustration, the source of his strife?
There were simply too many to bring all to life
So by default this vlogger’s already on edge
Their sanity dangling out on a ledge
Then one rainy night when the wind was a terror
Their editing program just kept screaming “ERROR!”
He tried to stay calm, but his teeth he did grit
For it wasn’t the first night he’d dealt with this shit
But these glitches he would not let play him the fool
And he knew there was no use in losing one’s cool
And so she persisted, in spite of it all
Even as the clock’s hours continued to fall
But her patience was strained, and her sleep had been fitful
So soon she was shouting, “YOU SHITFUCKING SCHNITZEL!”
With a loud string of shouted profanity endless
The vlogger declared their computer was friendless
But of course none of that kept the errors at bay
And the time came to save the fight for the next day
Don’t think that this vlogger will soon be defeated
Those other new videos WILL be completed
But for now, to allow the loud rage to dispell
I wrote this instead, and shall now say farewell.
[JAZZY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
I wonder if I should have written some weird rhyme for the end screen? Eh, too late now.
Videos…click them. You should do that. Yeah, do that. Doobly-doo or around my face. Sump’n. Bye! [/spoiler]
Writer. Actor. Director. Chalk artist. YouTuber. Nerdfighter. Traveler. Pansexual. Genderfluid. Millennial. Socialist. Living a complex life beyond those words.
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